Tuesday, September 18, 2001
Dr. Paranoia sees a bright future ahead of us
LOOKING AHEAD by Wally Dobelis
For the neghbors wo are ditressed by the continuing escalation of Palestinian terrorist suicide attacks and Israel's ever harsher responses, by the Gramercy Park revelations and our President's policies, Dr. Paranoia brings new hopes. The President and Senatoer Katre Bailey Hutchinson of Texas both insist that the Palestinian terrorism must stop. Senator Mitchell and Secretary Powell are pesonally going to see to it. Parenthetically, the Arabs should realize that now they have gone too far with the the bombing of the pizza parlor in Tel Aviv , bringing a new player into the war - the Mafia.
Further good news in Macedonia - the major Albanian party has agreed to disarm its fighters, if this is done under the supervision of the United Nations. All that remains is a detail,- convincing the minor Albanian parties, the Kosovar interlopers, the US and the NATO to provide adequate military forces for the disarmament.
In North Ireland, something positive. A general of the IRA has declared his willingness to disarm the militants. But the pesky Protestants are distrustful, and will not accept the peace until some real arms have been surrendered. There's always a spoiler. Of course, Ireland has its own problems. The one million Irish voters have rejected the Eureopean Union treaty that will add 500 million members to EU, in 12 nations, helping to build brotherhood and peace and avoid wars. The Irish voters don't want poor nations in, such as might need help, forgetting that Erin for years survived with the help of the 14 other member nations.That's good thinkin', supposin' we be needin' assistance again?
And the Indians and Pakistanis have spoken to each other, for the first time. The Pakistani leader is hopeful, but the Indian leader, speaking on India's Independence Day behind a bullet-proof shield, claims that it is hopeless to have meetings. All that the man from Islamabad wants to talk about is Kashmir, Kashmir, Kashmir...
Locally, good news, gasoline is down to $1.39 a gallon. And we were worrying about an energy crisis. Silly us. Of course OPEC is cutting down on productionby 4 percent, a million barrels a day, to bring the numbers back to a high profit level, but there are plenty of smugglers. Iraq will keep the oil gushing, and save the day.
A victory for the environmentalists, Secretary Christine Todd Whitman has determined that the Hudson must be dredged , above Albany, to get rid of 200,000 lbs of PCBs in the silt. No word of where the contaminated silt will be deposited, so as not to poison the arable land, agriculture products. But they have not heard the last from GE - the upstate locals are protesting about the stirred up river bed . Guess which corporation helps them with a bit of PR and ad money. Governor George Pataki is happy, his pressure persuaded Washington to act. Don't expect him to push around the recalcitrant upstaters as well.
And the NYS budget has been passed, relatively early. But do not expect anyone to be happy about it, supplementary budgets will be needed, and no one can plan with such a moving target. But. a first, nevertheless.
The Supreme Court of the US has another problem. First, they decided who would be the President of the US in 2001, an action that seems unconstitutional, but since they are the ultimate authorities on the Constitution.... Now, a tied vote has caused a man to be executed, for a crime he committed while still a juvenile. Tied, in my book, means go back and reexamine, re-judge However, since they write the book.
Good news. Chandra Condit is off the front pages. Michael Blumber is nearly off the front pages. And there are job openings 3x of the 55 New York City council jobs are open due to term limits. I's a good income, $90k a year, tens of thousands of dollars to apportion to causes of your choice, no experience required, basic English an advantage. In eight years you can build up connections that will assure you of an excellent post-councilmanic career. A hint - if you are an emigree living in an emigree district, go for it, the landsmen are sure to turn out in a lethargic election.. Thanks, Leonard Lauder, for your gift of term limits to NYC.
Meanwhile, do not go out in the midday sun, watch out for mosquitoes and West Nile fever, stay away from bushes, high grass and Lyme disease ticks. Watch out for sharks in the ocean and drink plenty of water, but do not swallow the stuff if you are swimming in a algae-infested lake.
Dr. Paranoia suggests that any racial, ethnic and religious minorities claining unequal representation in insults and cudos write to the Editor of this newspaper, or any other newspaper (poof of general literacy is good for the US). However, this column needs correspondence, for job security. Sometimes it is very lonely here, while everyone is out there, busy bashing Met Life.
For the neghbors wo are ditressed by the continuing escalation of Palestinian terrorist suicide attacks and Israel's ever harsher responses, by the Gramercy Park revelations and our President's policies, Dr. Paranoia brings new hopes. The President and Senatoer Katre Bailey Hutchinson of Texas both insist that the Palestinian terrorism must stop. Senator Mitchell and Secretary Powell are pesonally going to see to it. Parenthetically, the Arabs should realize that now they have gone too far with the the bombing of the pizza parlor in Tel Aviv , bringing a new player into the war - the Mafia.
Further good news in Macedonia - the major Albanian party has agreed to disarm its fighters, if this is done under the supervision of the United Nations. All that remains is a detail,- convincing the minor Albanian parties, the Kosovar interlopers, the US and the NATO to provide adequate military forces for the disarmament.
In North Ireland, something positive. A general of the IRA has declared his willingness to disarm the militants. But the pesky Protestants are distrustful, and will not accept the peace until some real arms have been surrendered. There's always a spoiler. Of course, Ireland has its own problems. The one million Irish voters have rejected the Eureopean Union treaty that will add 500 million members to EU, in 12 nations, helping to build brotherhood and peace and avoid wars. The Irish voters don't want poor nations in, such as might need help, forgetting that Erin for years survived with the help of the 14 other member nations.That's good thinkin', supposin' we be needin' assistance again?
And the Indians and Pakistanis have spoken to each other, for the first time. The Pakistani leader is hopeful, but the Indian leader, speaking on India's Independence Day behind a bullet-proof shield, claims that it is hopeless to have meetings. All that the man from Islamabad wants to talk about is Kashmir, Kashmir, Kashmir...
Locally, good news, gasoline is down to $1.39 a gallon. And we were worrying about an energy crisis. Silly us. Of course OPEC is cutting down on productionby 4 percent, a million barrels a day, to bring the numbers back to a high profit level, but there are plenty of smugglers. Iraq will keep the oil gushing, and save the day.
A victory for the environmentalists, Secretary Christine Todd Whitman has determined that the Hudson must be dredged , above Albany, to get rid of 200,000 lbs of PCBs in the silt. No word of where the contaminated silt will be deposited, so as not to poison the arable land, agriculture products. But they have not heard the last from GE - the upstate locals are protesting about the stirred up river bed . Guess which corporation helps them with a bit of PR and ad money. Governor George Pataki is happy, his pressure persuaded Washington to act. Don't expect him to push around the recalcitrant upstaters as well.
And the NYS budget has been passed, relatively early. But do not expect anyone to be happy about it, supplementary budgets will be needed, and no one can plan with such a moving target. But. a first, nevertheless.
The Supreme Court of the US has another problem. First, they decided who would be the President of the US in 2001, an action that seems unconstitutional, but since they are the ultimate authorities on the Constitution.... Now, a tied vote has caused a man to be executed, for a crime he committed while still a juvenile. Tied, in my book, means go back and reexamine, re-judge However, since they write the book.
Good news. Chandra Condit is off the front pages. Michael Blumber is nearly off the front pages. And there are job openings 3x of the 55 New York City council jobs are open due to term limits. I's a good income, $90k a year, tens of thousands of dollars to apportion to causes of your choice, no experience required, basic English an advantage. In eight years you can build up connections that will assure you of an excellent post-councilmanic career. A hint - if you are an emigree living in an emigree district, go for it, the landsmen are sure to turn out in a lethargic election.. Thanks, Leonard Lauder, for your gift of term limits to NYC.
Meanwhile, do not go out in the midday sun, watch out for mosquitoes and West Nile fever, stay away from bushes, high grass and Lyme disease ticks. Watch out for sharks in the ocean and drink plenty of water, but do not swallow the stuff if you are swimming in a algae-infested lake.
Dr. Paranoia suggests that any racial, ethnic and religious minorities claining unequal representation in insults and cudos write to the Editor of this newspaper, or any other newspaper (poof of general literacy is good for the US). However, this column needs correspondence, for job security. Sometimes it is very lonely here, while everyone is out there, busy bashing Met Life.
# posted by Wally Dobelis @ 6:01 AM 
