Thursday, August 08, 2002
Mind games and other diversions
LOOKING AHEAD by Wally Dobelis
Looking back I recall that in my youth I could never resist intelligence quizzes, Readers Digest word tests and other such challenges. Where others in the office feared the mysterious Sanford-Binet aptitude tests and other inquisitive tricks cooked up by Personnel (Human Resources to you, young whippersnappers) before the Privacy era, I looked forward to them. Over the years the lure has faded, but in our basement, submerged in news clippings and other saved treasures there are, I'm sure, old Mensa and Saturday Review of Literature quiz books.
It was therefore a real challenge to receive an unsolicited e-mail message from eMode ("The World's leading Self-Assessment Company"), challenging me to take their Ultimate IQ Test, free of charge, with immediate analysis. I fell for it, and invested the time. In self-defense, the testing was prompted by concerns with passage of years, advancing decrepitude and questions of synapses failing to snap the neurons together, i.e. slowing-down memory.
It turned out to be a 40-question proposition, equally divided into tests of spatial relationships, mathematical and verbal skills. My answers put me in a high category. Elated, I mentioned this event to some younger members of my acquaintance, all brought up on mammoth scores in the SATs, LSATs, GMATs and similar, with Kaplan a household name. No one was interested, and I was told that the crude types of the post-college generation who talk Mensa and match SAT scores in bars and know precisely when the SAT was cheapened are dorks and worse.
Somewhat chastened, I went to eMode's home base to try to figure whether this is a credible site, and found it is a veritable honeycomb of entertaining tests, one leading into another .
Who can resist a Right Job, Wrong Job Test of 41 questions? I grabbed it and found out that I am analytical and creative, but a detailed multi-page personalized report identifying my best, #1 job choice, would cost $14.95. This led into The Career Personality Test. To further intrigue you, the quiz is described as based on the theories of psychologists Raymond Cattell (Building Blocks of Personality, 1965) and John L. Holland. A sample report on a fictional Jeff tells him that his ideal jobs are in computer network administration, or law, or piloting airplanes, and intriguingly, that he should stay away from architecture. You want to know more, you fork over the ubiquitous $14.95.
An Ultimate Personality Test, in 50 questions, judges you on confidence, apprehensiveness, willingness to take risks and your focus on experience vs appearance. I am a good person and a seeker. Going on to Are You a Natural Leader - guess what. There is scoring on efficiency, being organized, on teamwork emphasis and on confidence. My adherence to the motto, borrowed from the radio lawyer/market guru, Adrienne Berg, "not always right, but never in doubt," must be shining through.
As a Risk-Taker, I'm less the picture of perfectitude, being off the wall, willing to be silly, but ready to take dangers and accept emotional challenges. At this point eMode teases you to take a 30-question test, What Kind of Dog Are You At Work? It turns out that I am a German Shepherd, who hides his competitiveness, speaks up when he is sure of himself and is careful in interoffice relationships. The Are You a Workaholic questions tell me to take it easy, the Enough Sleep? urges me to get some, Naughty Or Nice determines that I'm not a girl. A Handwriting Analysis tests me in the areas of wittiness, life enthusiasm, positive attitude, warmth and optimism, and whether I'm turned off by projects, all affirmative. Hmm, I like projects. But the trickiest is Discovering Your Past Life. This reveals that I am a Siberian Hamster named Vladimir, who drinks vodka, organizes health spas and has fled the Bolshevik life for the flesh-pots of America. Hey, guys, you're getting uncomfortably personal.
Emotionally exhausted by the revelations, I decided to take a break, and turn the psychologists' attention to other members of the family, our young cats.. What Is Your Cat's True Identity revealed that the girl cat, Benny, who salivates in apprehension every time we enter the car, is truly a Marco Polo, a discoverer at heart, to be watched for fear that her natural curiosity will take her too far away. That is true, Ben is always ready to run out the doors and disappear in the bushes. We worry that she has formed some form of after-dark league with the chipmunks, the nasty woodchuck and even the garbage tearer-upper, raccoon. Her brother Daisy is a Winny the Poo, according to the tests, always eager to cuddle and lounge around in the company of people. Equally true, except that he also hunts chipmunks and brings them to us, gladly surrendering them for release.
Pop psych is fun, and eMode has some 15 million members, wf which some must fork over an occasional $14.95 score, to keep the site's PHDs in reasonable bread if not in Veuve Clicquot. It will never be a psych-entertainment empire, such as the sports-entertainment behemoth. Speaking of the latter, I tried to e-mail my opinion about the potential MBL strike to the baseball players' officials, but the site refuses to accept messages. The arrogance of the organization is frightening. Not only do the 850 players average $2.4 million in pay alone, they also, unlike other sports organizations, do not penalize steroid use and do not impose real discipline to deal with substance abuse within its membership. Their shortsightedness may well succeed in destroying baseball. Maybe the players should meet some educational and language skills requirements. This is the only livelihood for which the essential skills are a carry- over from the cavemen hunters of the wooly mammoth.
Wally Dobelis and the T&V staff offer our best wishes to Linda Barr, who is taking a three-month leave of absence to have a baby. We welcome Syd Steinhardt, Assistant Editor and staff writer. Married and residing at Stuy Town, he is a recent grad of the Columbia Graduate School of Journalism , and has an MA and BA in Political Science from Brooklyn and Toronto. Syd is also a regular contributor to Improvrev.com and freelances with the Empire State Report and Downtown Review.
Looking back I recall that in my youth I could never resist intelligence quizzes, Readers Digest word tests and other such challenges. Where others in the office feared the mysterious Sanford-Binet aptitude tests and other inquisitive tricks cooked up by Personnel (Human Resources to you, young whippersnappers) before the Privacy era, I looked forward to them. Over the years the lure has faded, but in our basement, submerged in news clippings and other saved treasures there are, I'm sure, old Mensa and Saturday Review of Literature quiz books.
It was therefore a real challenge to receive an unsolicited e-mail message from eMode ("The World's leading Self-Assessment Company"), challenging me to take their Ultimate IQ Test, free of charge, with immediate analysis. I fell for it, and invested the time. In self-defense, the testing was prompted by concerns with passage of years, advancing decrepitude and questions of synapses failing to snap the neurons together, i.e. slowing-down memory.
It turned out to be a 40-question proposition, equally divided into tests of spatial relationships, mathematical and verbal skills. My answers put me in a high category. Elated, I mentioned this event to some younger members of my acquaintance, all brought up on mammoth scores in the SATs, LSATs, GMATs and similar, with Kaplan a household name. No one was interested, and I was told that the crude types of the post-college generation who talk Mensa and match SAT scores in bars and know precisely when the SAT was cheapened are dorks and worse.
Somewhat chastened, I went to eMode's home base to try to figure whether this is a credible site, and found it is a veritable honeycomb of entertaining tests, one leading into another .
Who can resist a Right Job, Wrong Job Test of 41 questions? I grabbed it and found out that I am analytical and creative, but a detailed multi-page personalized report identifying my best, #1 job choice, would cost $14.95. This led into The Career Personality Test. To further intrigue you, the quiz is described as based on the theories of psychologists Raymond Cattell (Building Blocks of Personality, 1965) and John L. Holland. A sample report on a fictional Jeff tells him that his ideal jobs are in computer network administration, or law, or piloting airplanes, and intriguingly, that he should stay away from architecture. You want to know more, you fork over the ubiquitous $14.95.
An Ultimate Personality Test, in 50 questions, judges you on confidence, apprehensiveness, willingness to take risks and your focus on experience vs appearance. I am a good person and a seeker. Going on to Are You a Natural Leader - guess what. There is scoring on efficiency, being organized, on teamwork emphasis and on confidence. My adherence to the motto, borrowed from the radio lawyer/market guru, Adrienne Berg, "not always right, but never in doubt," must be shining through.
As a Risk-Taker, I'm less the picture of perfectitude, being off the wall, willing to be silly, but ready to take dangers and accept emotional challenges. At this point eMode teases you to take a 30-question test, What Kind of Dog Are You At Work? It turns out that I am a German Shepherd, who hides his competitiveness, speaks up when he is sure of himself and is careful in interoffice relationships. The Are You a Workaholic questions tell me to take it easy, the Enough Sleep? urges me to get some, Naughty Or Nice determines that I'm not a girl. A Handwriting Analysis tests me in the areas of wittiness, life enthusiasm, positive attitude, warmth and optimism, and whether I'm turned off by projects, all affirmative. Hmm, I like projects. But the trickiest is Discovering Your Past Life. This reveals that I am a Siberian Hamster named Vladimir, who drinks vodka, organizes health spas and has fled the Bolshevik life for the flesh-pots of America. Hey, guys, you're getting uncomfortably personal.
Emotionally exhausted by the revelations, I decided to take a break, and turn the psychologists' attention to other members of the family, our young cats.. What Is Your Cat's True Identity revealed that the girl cat, Benny, who salivates in apprehension every time we enter the car, is truly a Marco Polo, a discoverer at heart, to be watched for fear that her natural curiosity will take her too far away. That is true, Ben is always ready to run out the doors and disappear in the bushes. We worry that she has formed some form of after-dark league with the chipmunks, the nasty woodchuck and even the garbage tearer-upper, raccoon. Her brother Daisy is a Winny the Poo, according to the tests, always eager to cuddle and lounge around in the company of people. Equally true, except that he also hunts chipmunks and brings them to us, gladly surrendering them for release.
Pop psych is fun, and eMode has some 15 million members, wf which some must fork over an occasional $14.95 score, to keep the site's PHDs in reasonable bread if not in Veuve Clicquot. It will never be a psych-entertainment empire, such as the sports-entertainment behemoth. Speaking of the latter, I tried to e-mail my opinion about the potential MBL strike to the baseball players' officials, but the site refuses to accept messages. The arrogance of the organization is frightening. Not only do the 850 players average $2.4 million in pay alone, they also, unlike other sports organizations, do not penalize steroid use and do not impose real discipline to deal with substance abuse within its membership. Their shortsightedness may well succeed in destroying baseball. Maybe the players should meet some educational and language skills requirements. This is the only livelihood for which the essential skills are a carry- over from the cavemen hunters of the wooly mammoth.
Wally Dobelis and the T&V staff offer our best wishes to Linda Barr, who is taking a three-month leave of absence to have a baby. We welcome Syd Steinhardt, Assistant Editor and staff writer. Married and residing at Stuy Town, he is a recent grad of the Columbia Graduate School of Journalism , and has an MA and BA in Political Science from Brooklyn and Toronto. Syd is also a regular contributor to Improvrev.com and freelances with the Empire State Report and Downtown Review.
# posted by Wally Dobelis @ 4:01 PM 
