Thursday, October 10, 2002
Is President Bush a secret agent for peace?
Is President Bush a secret agent for peace?
By Wally Dobelis, weekly columnist for Town & Village, NYC
My frequent correspondent, Dr. Paranoia, tells a story of a bar encounter with a Texan, a self-proclaimed Republican, who loudly complained about our President warlike Iraq policy. " As we say in Llano, the man needs to populate his matrix. He don't get granular enough. And he has to tune up his counter-intuitive thinking, he's no Reagan. Just leveraging those hostile ideas don't fly in the world of of the A-rabs. There's no strap there, and no exit policy." Taken aback, Dr. P. asked about the apparent Texianisms. Turned out the language is Information Technology management. Strap means strategic planning. .
When asked who his ideal President would be, the Texan declared, without hesitation: "Clinton, with a better zipper control." Totally shocked, the good doctor asked for an explanation. "Come now, you know that Clinton is one of us, a moderate Republican. If he hadn't run the country with both hands tied behind his back and his gonads otherwise occupied, we would have a different world. That wife of his with her universal medical care fantasies, the bimbos of the week, and my own party viciously tying him up with investigations, accusations, indictments and impeachments, it is a miracle anything got done in those eight years. Egos first, country second. I pass." Since the man was clearly unbalanced and in need of medical attention, Dr. P. retreated, to call 911. When he returned, the Texan was gone, leaving behind the delicious aroma of Maker's Mark bourbon and a trace of cowchips on the floor.
Regarding the Iraq policy, Dr. Paranoia disagrees. He thinks that George W's matrix is quite well populated, there's been intensive OTJ training. The good doctor, who pretends to have extra-sensory perception powers, projects the following insight into the President's mind:
"Neither the UN, nor we, the US, the anti-proliferation advocates, have adequately formulated appropriate actions when a rogue nation acquires nuclear arms capacity. Pakistan is one such power. Luckily, it is in the hands of a right-thinking dictator, but that does not mean a suicidal Muslim fanatic cannot take over. They have strong al-Qaeda supporter cells there. For the world's survival, we must do all we can to keep Musharraf in power. Civil libertarians will have to ponder this one.
"Now, that conflicts with another situation (Lord, what doesn't?), Iraq, an unstable country. We could live with Saddam, under the Bush/Powell 1991 theory, to keep the area stable, if he were a Musharraf, but this man is definitely a madman. A very clever survivalist madman, with world-ruler ambitions. He keeps Iraq intimidated - after 30 years of his rule the majority of the population is too young to know any other system, they are no longer literate, spying on each other for survival is the accepted lifestyle. The minority Kurd and Southern Shia opposition is cowed. The Revolutionary Guard is kept well-fed and subservient. He has no Baath oppositionists, they get executed. Political jokes are punishable by death. Even trusted henchmen get liquidated when they become too powerful. This man has the instincts of a wild animal of prey. He knows when to give a little, e.g. allow the inspectors in, then sabotage them, straight from the Dictator's Playbook. He makes his biologicals' factories mobile and enriches uranium in tiny aluminum centrifuges hidden in peoples' homes.
"Then there's his economic power, as the world's 2nd richest oil reserves holder. He smuggles it, flaunting the UN's sanctions. He has intimidated Jordan, Syria, Turkey, countries with fragile economies, with his cheap oil, and the Gulf sheiks, with potential revolutions ("if they attack me, your regimes are dead") . Not having lost any power, despite the loss of the 1991 war and world-wide opposition to his regime, he still nurses the ambition of ruling the Muslim universe and the world's oil supply, and dictating terms of survival to the industrial countries.
"If we let him survive, with continued ineffective arms inspections, he will eventually acquire nuclear arms, and develop delivery vehicles. Fortunately, the latter require major facilities, and we can fly satellite watch. Our terrestrial intelligence has failed, but there are the Brits with their historic ties, and the Israelis, whose survival predicates efficient spying. He has 10,000 clandestine workers in the mass destruction weapons' industries, and some will whisper, once we have Arab-speaking UN inspectors on site. Then we can blow his cover and alert the UN and resuscitate the allies who are waiting for some facts that expose Saddam. He has to fall eventually, else the other rogue countries that are surreptitiously acquiring nuclear arms capabilities - North Korea, Iran, Syria, Lybia - will continue, unintimidated. Once we catch Saddam, we can, with the blessings of the UN and the entire world, promulgate controls in the UN that will intercept other rogues threatening nuclear holocaust.
"Ah, oil. We oil professionals understand the need to protect the world's energy supply and prices. The US gets 1/6 of the six million barrels we import daily (only 4/10ths of our needs are produced domestically) from Iran, and is the country's best customer! As we speak! You think we want war, come on, no, we wants Saddam to submit! Saddam sees it as a bluff, and won't blink. To scare Saddam, I have to act the reckless mad dog foaming at the mouth, the revenger for the attempt on my father's life -Arabs understand that. . The more concern it causes in Europe, the more worry in Arab countries, even in the US, the better for that image. It scared the UN lard-buts into action, didn't it?. I have more tools to escalate it, remember the Iraqi opposition leaders' revolution conference in August. We have a cleverly leaked a psychological attack plan, to bomb the Iraqi government and military facilities, but save the infrastructure, to be able to broadcast threats and announce opportunities for the army to surrender and avoid death by bombs. You think anyone here wants a Vietnam?
"Given my real strategy, I can ignore the Republican oppositionists, such as Richard Armey, who warns that under the cover of the preemptive American attack, the Israelis may attempt to expel the Palestinians from the West Bank, and the Indians may wipe out the Pakistani forces threatening Kashmir. We have also warned the Saudis to cool their support of the Muslim radicals [voiced in a Defense Policy Board meeting in August by a mysterious RAND analyst, Laurent Muraviec]. So far, we have given the MidEast dictators of the Arab League some cover, by not pressing them into anti-Iraq service. Outright support of my policy would certainly threaten their governments, given the amount of anti-American radicalization of the street Arabs that al-Quaeda and Palestinian propaganda has generated. Deep down, the sheiks want al Quaeda and the radicals to fail. Actually, there's also hope in the street, with people who burn the US flag one day and stand in line for a US visa the next.
"Do Americans share my insight? Some do, Democrats like Gephardt and Lieberman, who take flack for it. Am I playing politics? Well, I'm political, and that's my trump card."
That's Dr. P's take. We can draw our own conclusions, . Not everything is politics. The world is at war.
By Wally Dobelis, weekly columnist for Town & Village, NYC
My frequent correspondent, Dr. Paranoia, tells a story of a bar encounter with a Texan, a self-proclaimed Republican, who loudly complained about our President warlike Iraq policy. " As we say in Llano, the man needs to populate his matrix. He don't get granular enough. And he has to tune up his counter-intuitive thinking, he's no Reagan. Just leveraging those hostile ideas don't fly in the world of of the A-rabs. There's no strap there, and no exit policy." Taken aback, Dr. P. asked about the apparent Texianisms. Turned out the language is Information Technology management. Strap means strategic planning. .
When asked who his ideal President would be, the Texan declared, without hesitation: "Clinton, with a better zipper control." Totally shocked, the good doctor asked for an explanation. "Come now, you know that Clinton is one of us, a moderate Republican. If he hadn't run the country with both hands tied behind his back and his gonads otherwise occupied, we would have a different world. That wife of his with her universal medical care fantasies, the bimbos of the week, and my own party viciously tying him up with investigations, accusations, indictments and impeachments, it is a miracle anything got done in those eight years. Egos first, country second. I pass." Since the man was clearly unbalanced and in need of medical attention, Dr. P. retreated, to call 911. When he returned, the Texan was gone, leaving behind the delicious aroma of Maker's Mark bourbon and a trace of cowchips on the floor.
Regarding the Iraq policy, Dr. Paranoia disagrees. He thinks that George W's matrix is quite well populated, there's been intensive OTJ training. The good doctor, who pretends to have extra-sensory perception powers, projects the following insight into the President's mind:
"Neither the UN, nor we, the US, the anti-proliferation advocates, have adequately formulated appropriate actions when a rogue nation acquires nuclear arms capacity. Pakistan is one such power. Luckily, it is in the hands of a right-thinking dictator, but that does not mean a suicidal Muslim fanatic cannot take over. They have strong al-Qaeda supporter cells there. For the world's survival, we must do all we can to keep Musharraf in power. Civil libertarians will have to ponder this one.
"Now, that conflicts with another situation (Lord, what doesn't?), Iraq, an unstable country. We could live with Saddam, under the Bush/Powell 1991 theory, to keep the area stable, if he were a Musharraf, but this man is definitely a madman. A very clever survivalist madman, with world-ruler ambitions. He keeps Iraq intimidated - after 30 years of his rule the majority of the population is too young to know any other system, they are no longer literate, spying on each other for survival is the accepted lifestyle. The minority Kurd and Southern Shia opposition is cowed. The Revolutionary Guard is kept well-fed and subservient. He has no Baath oppositionists, they get executed. Political jokes are punishable by death. Even trusted henchmen get liquidated when they become too powerful. This man has the instincts of a wild animal of prey. He knows when to give a little, e.g. allow the inspectors in, then sabotage them, straight from the Dictator's Playbook. He makes his biologicals' factories mobile and enriches uranium in tiny aluminum centrifuges hidden in peoples' homes.
"Then there's his economic power, as the world's 2nd richest oil reserves holder. He smuggles it, flaunting the UN's sanctions. He has intimidated Jordan, Syria, Turkey, countries with fragile economies, with his cheap oil, and the Gulf sheiks, with potential revolutions ("if they attack me, your regimes are dead") . Not having lost any power, despite the loss of the 1991 war and world-wide opposition to his regime, he still nurses the ambition of ruling the Muslim universe and the world's oil supply, and dictating terms of survival to the industrial countries.
"If we let him survive, with continued ineffective arms inspections, he will eventually acquire nuclear arms, and develop delivery vehicles. Fortunately, the latter require major facilities, and we can fly satellite watch. Our terrestrial intelligence has failed, but there are the Brits with their historic ties, and the Israelis, whose survival predicates efficient spying. He has 10,000 clandestine workers in the mass destruction weapons' industries, and some will whisper, once we have Arab-speaking UN inspectors on site. Then we can blow his cover and alert the UN and resuscitate the allies who are waiting for some facts that expose Saddam. He has to fall eventually, else the other rogue countries that are surreptitiously acquiring nuclear arms capabilities - North Korea, Iran, Syria, Lybia - will continue, unintimidated. Once we catch Saddam, we can, with the blessings of the UN and the entire world, promulgate controls in the UN that will intercept other rogues threatening nuclear holocaust.
"Ah, oil. We oil professionals understand the need to protect the world's energy supply and prices. The US gets 1/6 of the six million barrels we import daily (only 4/10ths of our needs are produced domestically) from Iran, and is the country's best customer! As we speak! You think we want war, come on, no, we wants Saddam to submit! Saddam sees it as a bluff, and won't blink. To scare Saddam, I have to act the reckless mad dog foaming at the mouth, the revenger for the attempt on my father's life -Arabs understand that. . The more concern it causes in Europe, the more worry in Arab countries, even in the US, the better for that image. It scared the UN lard-buts into action, didn't it?. I have more tools to escalate it, remember the Iraqi opposition leaders' revolution conference in August. We have a cleverly leaked a psychological attack plan, to bomb the Iraqi government and military facilities, but save the infrastructure, to be able to broadcast threats and announce opportunities for the army to surrender and avoid death by bombs. You think anyone here wants a Vietnam?
"Given my real strategy, I can ignore the Republican oppositionists, such as Richard Armey, who warns that under the cover of the preemptive American attack, the Israelis may attempt to expel the Palestinians from the West Bank, and the Indians may wipe out the Pakistani forces threatening Kashmir. We have also warned the Saudis to cool their support of the Muslim radicals [voiced in a Defense Policy Board meeting in August by a mysterious RAND analyst, Laurent Muraviec]. So far, we have given the MidEast dictators of the Arab League some cover, by not pressing them into anti-Iraq service. Outright support of my policy would certainly threaten their governments, given the amount of anti-American radicalization of the street Arabs that al-Quaeda and Palestinian propaganda has generated. Deep down, the sheiks want al Quaeda and the radicals to fail. Actually, there's also hope in the street, with people who burn the US flag one day and stand in line for a US visa the next.
"Do Americans share my insight? Some do, Democrats like Gephardt and Lieberman, who take flack for it. Am I playing politics? Well, I'm political, and that's my trump card."
That's Dr. P's take. We can draw our own conclusions, . Not everything is politics. The world is at war.
# posted by Wally Dobelis @ 3:33 PM 
