Thursday, January 04, 2007
Happiest New Year 12007 - for better or verse
LOOKING AHEAD by Wally Dobelis
In the year two-ought-ought-seven I wish you all a bit of heaven, happiness and luck and health, business plans that bring great wealth, great success that swiftly triggers fine returns, in seven figures.
Be prepared to spend your time, working hours beyond sublime, on the job to earn that dime. Take some courses, don’t be dated, learn the laws they call “mandated.” Compliance is not a beach, when you meet with Gramm, Bliley, Leach. Arts of marketing must surcease; “market conduct” is your beast. Pretexting has gone quite hokey; it may land you in the pokey. Do not call someone who opts out, lack of knowledge is no cop-out.
Need for privacy will trip ya, ‘less you study up on HIPAA; implementing will cost plentity if you are a covered entity. Learn to do risk analysis, identify threats and vulnerabilities. Health info –what’s personal, and, when is it merely statistical (PHI and e-PHI can be quite mystical.) Make your info well protected, all transmissions encrypted, look out for your CRU, guard your tongue, yes, you too.When funds come in that smack of plunder, drug deposits, make you wonder, you may be facing money launder. Be suspicious, can’t use tact, and check it out, under the aegis of Patriot Act.
When the corporate margins slip, some of us will take a trip; our careers may well be queered as our firms are reengineered. Keep the resume intact, save your contacts, don’t slack. Things can truly turn appalling when Mr. Downsize comes calling. Leveraged buyouts are no fun unless you are a Kohlberg Kravis Roberts Hun. Though your service years count two-score, your job may still be outsourced, offshore. If your new aid is a lascar, learn to smile and say “namascar.” Join a trade group, go to meetings, get their mailing list, send greetings, should your numbers drop in the soup, holler to your affinity group.
Pardon me that I should mention, but do look up the terms of your pension. Defined contribution is fine, but defined benefits really shine. Hang on, bub, though sorely tested, stay the course till you’re vested. Save your money, beg or borrow, put your funds with Bill or Soros, you can laugh loud, ha-ha-ha, if your CFSA is the Wiz of Omaha. Don’t be an ignorant donkey, put the bucks in your 401-k.
Finally, you’ve reached the top, you’re the CFO, with stock op. Watch it, son, hold on to your sox, you’re now subject to Sarb-Ox. Be very careful what you say when you sign that big one-oh-kay. If your financials are flimsy, order in some help from McKinsey, hire a Stroock Stroock & Lavan dude to write you a golden parachute.
Should you, lucky son of Mayo, aim for the upper lairs of CIO, watch out for the traps of Mumbai-oh. Firing high-pay in-house ITers will buy you kudos from the mighties,
(BoD and such entightities) – but while offshore folk work for less they may leave you with a mess. Whether your system is for wholesale or retail, the devil is in the specifications detail. Flowcharting is gone, no more, unless you are a dinosaur, IPO, HIPO bit the dust, Waterfall eventually must, iteration is the rage, this is now, the RAD document age. When your tech goes back to Hyderabad, you may be left feeling really sad, your new system may be a black box, lad; without continued knowledge transfer, you’ll be left without an answer. Tommie Friedman may be right, at that, when he says the world is flat, but beware, don’t bet your hat. When Deng pulled China out of a dump, somebody else had to become the chump. Prices went down thanks to Xiaoping sending us out to go shopping. But while Beijing sells socks wildly, Carolinas’ mills rest idly; can’t find anyone to blame, those are the rules of the zero-sum game.
Listen to the bard of Stratford , dress costly as your purse can afford, give men thy ear, eagerly, but thy voice only beggarly, and to thine own be true, make sure that you always come up blue. As for your resolve, don’t slacken, watch out for the road not taken; destructive is the path of Kozlowski and Lay, a short-term pleasure of making hay, accentuate the positive of Buffet and Gates, hailed as givers throughout the world’s states.
Be prepared for a 360 degree review, granually , not just when you ask for your pay rise, annually. History has a word to utter, errors don’t just melt away like butter.
If you follow what I say, you are nearly half the way to a curbstone MBA, and to full-fledged membership in an entity that we loosely refer to as humanity.
In addition to those mentioned, Wally Dobelis thanks John von Neumann, Oscar Morgenstern, Robert Frost, Roger Angell, George W. Bush and the unsung wordsmiths of the US Department of Health and Human Resources.
In the year two-ought-ought-seven I wish you all a bit of heaven, happiness and luck and health, business plans that bring great wealth, great success that swiftly triggers fine returns, in seven figures.
Be prepared to spend your time, working hours beyond sublime, on the job to earn that dime. Take some courses, don’t be dated, learn the laws they call “mandated.” Compliance is not a beach, when you meet with Gramm, Bliley, Leach. Arts of marketing must surcease; “market conduct” is your beast. Pretexting has gone quite hokey; it may land you in the pokey. Do not call someone who opts out, lack of knowledge is no cop-out.
Need for privacy will trip ya, ‘less you study up on HIPAA; implementing will cost plentity if you are a covered entity. Learn to do risk analysis, identify threats and vulnerabilities. Health info –what’s personal, and, when is it merely statistical (PHI and e-PHI can be quite mystical.) Make your info well protected, all transmissions encrypted, look out for your CRU, guard your tongue, yes, you too.When funds come in that smack of plunder, drug deposits, make you wonder, you may be facing money launder. Be suspicious, can’t use tact, and check it out, under the aegis of Patriot Act.
When the corporate margins slip, some of us will take a trip; our careers may well be queered as our firms are reengineered. Keep the resume intact, save your contacts, don’t slack. Things can truly turn appalling when Mr. Downsize comes calling. Leveraged buyouts are no fun unless you are a Kohlberg Kravis Roberts Hun. Though your service years count two-score, your job may still be outsourced, offshore. If your new aid is a lascar, learn to smile and say “namascar.” Join a trade group, go to meetings, get their mailing list, send greetings, should your numbers drop in the soup, holler to your affinity group.
Pardon me that I should mention, but do look up the terms of your pension. Defined contribution is fine, but defined benefits really shine. Hang on, bub, though sorely tested, stay the course till you’re vested. Save your money, beg or borrow, put your funds with Bill or Soros, you can laugh loud, ha-ha-ha, if your CFSA is the Wiz of Omaha. Don’t be an ignorant donkey, put the bucks in your 401-k.
Finally, you’ve reached the top, you’re the CFO, with stock op. Watch it, son, hold on to your sox, you’re now subject to Sarb-Ox. Be very careful what you say when you sign that big one-oh-kay. If your financials are flimsy, order in some help from McKinsey, hire a Stroock Stroock & Lavan dude to write you a golden parachute.
Should you, lucky son of Mayo, aim for the upper lairs of CIO, watch out for the traps of Mumbai-oh. Firing high-pay in-house ITers will buy you kudos from the mighties,
(BoD and such entightities) – but while offshore folk work for less they may leave you with a mess. Whether your system is for wholesale or retail, the devil is in the specifications detail. Flowcharting is gone, no more, unless you are a dinosaur, IPO, HIPO bit the dust, Waterfall eventually must, iteration is the rage, this is now, the RAD document age. When your tech goes back to Hyderabad, you may be left feeling really sad, your new system may be a black box, lad; without continued knowledge transfer, you’ll be left without an answer. Tommie Friedman may be right, at that, when he says the world is flat, but beware, don’t bet your hat. When Deng pulled China out of a dump, somebody else had to become the chump. Prices went down thanks to Xiaoping sending us out to go shopping. But while Beijing sells socks wildly, Carolinas’ mills rest idly; can’t find anyone to blame, those are the rules of the zero-sum game.
Listen to the bard of Stratford , dress costly as your purse can afford, give men thy ear, eagerly, but thy voice only beggarly, and to thine own be true, make sure that you always come up blue. As for your resolve, don’t slacken, watch out for the road not taken; destructive is the path of Kozlowski and Lay, a short-term pleasure of making hay, accentuate the positive of Buffet and Gates, hailed as givers throughout the world’s states.
Be prepared for a 360 degree review, granually , not just when you ask for your pay rise, annually. History has a word to utter, errors don’t just melt away like butter.
If you follow what I say, you are nearly half the way to a curbstone MBA, and to full-fledged membership in an entity that we loosely refer to as humanity.
In addition to those mentioned, Wally Dobelis thanks John von Neumann, Oscar Morgenstern, Robert Frost, Roger Angell, George W. Bush and the unsung wordsmiths of the US Department of Health and Human Resources.
# posted by Wally Dobelis @ 12:18 AM 
