Sunday, November 30, 2008
Barbershop politics
LOOKING AHEAD by Wally Dobelis
Passing my neighborhood barbershop, I noticed that there was no wait for a haircut, and walked in. As soon as I sat down, the barber at the only other busy chair, whom I know as a taciturn émigré from Samarkand, uncharacteristically opened the conversation with his client, a gray-haired gent: “So, did you watch the debates?” “Yes, and McCain scored some points, but Obama won.” “Why you like Obama?” “I mostly dislike his predecessors, who lied and got us into a war (pause). Obama’s medical single source pay program will not materialize, but McCain’s annual medical fund does not make sense.” I was going to interject with a correction, that Obama had shifted to an insurance approach, but my haircutter, who was intently listening, raised his hand to wave me off. “Big professor,” he whispered.
“Obama also has a good tax policy, giving relief to the middle class, but you rich barbers who make $250 thousand a year will suffer.” “Yeah, yeah, we rich people, but American medicine is the worst, too expensive, and giving $5,000 fund for medical expenses is stupid and Socialist. Why not make it easy, same for everybody, like in other countries? And what about the war? ” “You don’t like withdrawal from Iraq in 16 months, right? (nod) Well, now he will have Colin Powell as his military advisor, and the General will help Obama decide whether and when to leave Iraq. Besides, don’t forget that Obama is the most brilliant speaker of the century {enthusiastic nod), and may talk the opponents into peace. He looks like them and talks like them and is young like them, and may even persuade Ahmadinejad to give up nuclear arms. That’s why Zbigniew Brzezinski supported him to begin with, that his pictures and smiles in Teheran papers will buy us six months of calm.”
“Yeah, but what about the black people?” “Aha, so you are uneasy, just like that Joe the plumber. You think he will give them too much power and welfare? (nod, nod) Yes, and pride and self-respect? That’s good, right? (assent) Consider this, that Obama in June was talking in churches about black fathers having to assume parenting responsibilities, and got Jesse Jackson so mad that he wanted to physically mutilate Obama. The Rev’s own son denounced him, and Jackson had to apologize and keep quiet and stop being a spoiler. If you are worrying, believe me, Obama, if anyone, will be the man to persuade black men to assume more responsibilities, go to school and get jobs. He may be the best role model to get them out of the hopeless and helpless “the white world is against me” positions (doubtful look). Let me tell you a story… there was a black person in a major corporation in a public job, who was meticulous about work but haughty and challenging with people, not ugly but borderline unpleasant. Nobody liked this person but no one would tackle the job of correcting, for fear of not being PC. But then the boss of the department retired, and a black manager was hired. Within a year he moved the unpleasant person out, and everybody breathed easier. Don’t you think that Obama would be able to tackle the controversial borderline race-related problems that would stymie a white president?”
There was a pause, and then the speaker picked up the thread: “Let me tell you another story. If Obama does not make it, we are not going to have bad race riots, as some fear, but there will be long-term consequences of racial conflict. Riots come only after acts of violence, such as the assassination of Martin Luther King in 1968, and the Rodney King beating in LA where 50 people died. The Crown Heights riot was caused by an accident, when a boy died after being injured by a car during the Rabbi Schneerson funeral.
“I don’t want to leave you feeling bad and unbalanced, suspicious of Obama. Just consider that big Republicans like Powell and Kenneth Adelman, both Reagan veterans, will vote for Obama, the latter because he mistrusts McCain’s judgment and rash decisions, and thinks that choosing Sarah Palin for Vice President, just a heartbeat from Presidency, was downright mindless.
His haircut being finished, we had some silence and reflection time. Just before leaving, the Professor gave us his last bit: “To make you feel better, the economic crisis we are having means that there cannot be a Great World War, ever again. We are too interdependent, and the Middle Easterners who want to advance a doomsday scenario will have to be controlled by the rest of us, Europe, China and Russia as well, or else the world is at risk of perishing. Obama will be a great spokesperson for this world-wide concern.”
After the Professor left I asked his barber: “So what do you think?” He shrugged his shoulders; “I don’t know, Obama is still a Socialist.” Go figure.
Passing my neighborhood barbershop, I noticed that there was no wait for a haircut, and walked in. As soon as I sat down, the barber at the only other busy chair, whom I know as a taciturn émigré from Samarkand, uncharacteristically opened the conversation with his client, a gray-haired gent: “So, did you watch the debates?” “Yes, and McCain scored some points, but Obama won.” “Why you like Obama?” “I mostly dislike his predecessors, who lied and got us into a war (pause). Obama’s medical single source pay program will not materialize, but McCain’s annual medical fund does not make sense.” I was going to interject with a correction, that Obama had shifted to an insurance approach, but my haircutter, who was intently listening, raised his hand to wave me off. “Big professor,” he whispered.
“Obama also has a good tax policy, giving relief to the middle class, but you rich barbers who make $250 thousand a year will suffer.” “Yeah, yeah, we rich people, but American medicine is the worst, too expensive, and giving $5,000 fund for medical expenses is stupid and Socialist. Why not make it easy, same for everybody, like in other countries? And what about the war? ” “You don’t like withdrawal from Iraq in 16 months, right? (nod) Well, now he will have Colin Powell as his military advisor, and the General will help Obama decide whether and when to leave Iraq. Besides, don’t forget that Obama is the most brilliant speaker of the century {enthusiastic nod), and may talk the opponents into peace. He looks like them and talks like them and is young like them, and may even persuade Ahmadinejad to give up nuclear arms. That’s why Zbigniew Brzezinski supported him to begin with, that his pictures and smiles in Teheran papers will buy us six months of calm.”
“Yeah, but what about the black people?” “Aha, so you are uneasy, just like that Joe the plumber. You think he will give them too much power and welfare? (nod, nod) Yes, and pride and self-respect? That’s good, right? (assent) Consider this, that Obama in June was talking in churches about black fathers having to assume parenting responsibilities, and got Jesse Jackson so mad that he wanted to physically mutilate Obama. The Rev’s own son denounced him, and Jackson had to apologize and keep quiet and stop being a spoiler. If you are worrying, believe me, Obama, if anyone, will be the man to persuade black men to assume more responsibilities, go to school and get jobs. He may be the best role model to get them out of the hopeless and helpless “the white world is against me” positions (doubtful look). Let me tell you a story… there was a black person in a major corporation in a public job, who was meticulous about work but haughty and challenging with people, not ugly but borderline unpleasant. Nobody liked this person but no one would tackle the job of correcting, for fear of not being PC. But then the boss of the department retired, and a black manager was hired. Within a year he moved the unpleasant person out, and everybody breathed easier. Don’t you think that Obama would be able to tackle the controversial borderline race-related problems that would stymie a white president?”
There was a pause, and then the speaker picked up the thread: “Let me tell you another story. If Obama does not make it, we are not going to have bad race riots, as some fear, but there will be long-term consequences of racial conflict. Riots come only after acts of violence, such as the assassination of Martin Luther King in 1968, and the Rodney King beating in LA where 50 people died. The Crown Heights riot was caused by an accident, when a boy died after being injured by a car during the Rabbi Schneerson funeral.
“I don’t want to leave you feeling bad and unbalanced, suspicious of Obama. Just consider that big Republicans like Powell and Kenneth Adelman, both Reagan veterans, will vote for Obama, the latter because he mistrusts McCain’s judgment and rash decisions, and thinks that choosing Sarah Palin for Vice President, just a heartbeat from Presidency, was downright mindless.
His haircut being finished, we had some silence and reflection time. Just before leaving, the Professor gave us his last bit: “To make you feel better, the economic crisis we are having means that there cannot be a Great World War, ever again. We are too interdependent, and the Middle Easterners who want to advance a doomsday scenario will have to be controlled by the rest of us, Europe, China and Russia as well, or else the world is at risk of perishing. Obama will be a great spokesperson for this world-wide concern.”
After the Professor left I asked his barber: “So what do you think?” He shrugged his shoulders; “I don’t know, Obama is still a Socialist.” Go figure.
# posted by Wally Dobelis @ 3:15 PM 
